Im at strip club and am horny
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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