my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
