anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize