He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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