Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
