I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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