my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
