god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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