end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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