thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
