Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
