it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So vagazzling was a success
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
