Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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