he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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