Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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