No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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