Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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