heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
