Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
