This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize