Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
