i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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