Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
