I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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