I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
