i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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