he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sext me about skeletons
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