Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The air taste purple.
Randomize
