I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain