At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone