if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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