Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
