11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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