Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
