Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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