My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
