you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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