One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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