I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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