Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
