It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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