1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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