Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
