so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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