So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
