after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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