i just wanna soil my oats bro
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
