Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
