i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
