Soap is not a condiment
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
did i just pee glitter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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