New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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