it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
