I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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