The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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