therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
