i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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