just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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