I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
