Kiss
Puke
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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