I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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